DUELING

Music and Lyrics by Treyan Porter

 

(Music starts after Inigo says, “Begin”)

 

[Inigo and Man in Black (Westley), back and forth, starting with Inigo]

It’d be a shame to kill you

It’d be a shame to die

You seem like a decent man

And you seem like a nice guy

 

I can tell you’ve had training

You’re wonderful as well

I gotta ask, why are you following us

Ah, I really just can’t tell

 

I’m sorry, but I can’t let you pass

And I just can’t walk away

 

            [Both Inigo and Man in Black]

            So we are…

            Dueling…

            with our favorite swords in our hands

            Fighting…to show we are men

            Sure, we could try to compromise

            And it would probably be wise

            But this is much more fun

            Until one of us dies

 

(Spoken)

[Man in Black]: But it’s not going to be me

[Inigo]: Well it certainly won’t be me

 

[Inigo and Man in Black, back and forth, starting with Inigo]

You don’t even have six fingers

Man, I can tell that’s really on your mind

But you’re still the mysterious man in black

Yeah, it’s a pretty good disguise

 

You know, I’m just following orders

And I’m just trying to get through

You done me no wrong my friend

And I’ve got nothin’ against you

 

(But) I’m sorry, I just can’t let you pass

And I just can’t walk away

 

            [Both Inigo and Man in Black]

            So we are…

            Dueling…

            with our favorite swords in our hands

            Fighting…to show we are men

            Sure, we could try to compromise

            And it would probably be wise

            But this is much more fun

            Until one of us dies

 

(Spoken)

[Man in Black]: But I know it won’t be me

[Inigo]: It most definitely will not be me

 

(Spoken dialogue during the fight goes here; the duration can be adjusted to fit in all the dialogue)

 

(The following last chorus starts after Inigo says, “Okay”, and before he says, “Kill me quickly.”)

 

            [Both Inigo and Man in Black]

            (So we are…)

            Dueling…

            with our favorite swords in our hands

            Fighting…to show we are men

            Sure, we could try to compromise

            And it would probably be wise

            But this is much more fun

            Until one of us dies

 

(Inigo is disarmed right at the end of the music, as the theme descends, whereupon the dialogue picks up after the music ends, with him saying,“Kill me quickly.”)

DUELING­–Reprise (with Fezzik)

Music and Lyrics by Treyan Porter

 

(Music starts after Fezzik says, “It’s not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even exercise.”)

 

[Fezzik and Man in Black (Westley), back and forth, starting with Fezzik]

I hope you didn’t kill Inigo

No, he’s… (pause) just sleeping it off

You must be pretty good with a sword

And you, no doubt, with a rock

 

I’ve been told to kill you

I’ve been getting that a lot

I could have done you quicker

Thanks for giving me a shot

 

I’m sorry, I just can’t let you pass

That’s the story of my day

 

             [Both Fezzik and Man in Black]

            So we are…

            Dueling…with (pause)

            [Man in Black]

            No swords

            [Fezzik]

            Or stones

            [Both again]

            In hand

            Fighting…to show we are men

            Sure, we could try to compromise

            And it would probably be wise

            [Fezzik]

            But this is much more fun

            (man in black shakes

            his head in disagreement)

            [Both again]

            Until one of us dies

 

(Spoken)

[Fezzik]: But it’s not going to be me

[Man in Black]: Well it won’t… (grunts and strains as he is trying to wrestle Fezzik)

 

(Dialogue continues with Man in Black saying, “Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?”)